bikes and books

I'm going to fight someone.

Ok, maybe not someone, but my bike for sure. I wanted to adjust the brakes today, so I wrangled with my front brake for awhile before I realized that it was tight enough. It's a byproduct of the handle design that makes it seem looser than it really is. Booo.

Then I fiddled with the back one for awhile and now I can't seem to get it back to its original tightness. I took a break and checked some stuff online, so we'll give it another go here shortly. I'm frustrated, nonetheless.

No illusions; I am not a bike mechanic.

Ugh. Got to fix the bike quick, so I can grab a book and go read by the lake. I just finished book 25 of the year, which is good. I was lagging behind there for awhile, but I caught up by having only leisure reading and lots of time on the bus. Here are the books I've finished since getting back to MPLS:

• Me and Mr. Darcy, Alexandra Potte
• Speaking of Faith, Krista Tippett
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith
• The Hip Hop Wars, Tricia Rose
• The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Ernest Hemingway
• Spanish Lessons, Derek Lambert
• Strawberry Tattoo, Lauren Henderson
• Potential, Ariel Schrag

I'm also doing a much better job of reading more books written by women, people of color and non-straight authors. There's 6 women, one out lesbian and one Black women author. Although I suppose Hemingway kind of stands in the face of all of that... I figure when I read something misogynistic, I might as well go all the way. Hah. I have a big stack of books borrowed that I need to read, but the library books get some priority since they've got a deadline. Yesterday I picked up a Mexican cookbook, one of Ellen's books, the graphic novel by Schrag, and John Hodgman's book. I forgot how great the downtown MPLS library's bookstore is. All of the books they discharge from circulation are sold at cheap prices - most expensive one I saw was $3 (a collection of sermons and lectures by Rowan Williams. I was going to buy it, but no cash and I'm living light these days).

Ok. I need sunlight so I'm giving the bike one more chance to be fixed nicely before I throw it off the back porch.

it's me

Job rejection emails are like the worst "it's not you, it's me" line, but you know it's not true. It has to be something with you, otherwise they would have hired you.

I had a slew of interviews last week, half of which turned out "it's not you, it's me" emails and half of which I have yet to hear from. It's just frustrating to get nice emails from people shooting you down for jobs you'd be great for. On the upside, I got a part time job at a cafe near Lake Harriet. It's really cute, a tad expensive and serves organic, local vegetarian food. They have a fairly small staff and everyone bikes. A match made in heaven? Well, let's try working for awhile before I decide if I'm smitten.

4th of July was fun. Fireworks were fun. Sat by the Guthrie on that big hill, which was perfect. Some friends of mine and I are starting a writing group so I have good motivation to write. It's hard to start writing again, but it gets easier every time.

That is all.

a night in the box - the way you make me feel

Saw them again last night at Acadia. As usual, a fantastic show. Probably one of my favorite things about being back in MPLS.

Also, I love the skyline. I've mentioned it before, but I can't help but look at the skyline whenever I go past a particularly great view. I'm like Mom, but with skylines instead of sunsets.



I haven't taken any pictures since I've been back, but hopefully this weekend with Jake and Will being in town, plus the 4th. I should bring my camera with me when I bike. Also, I love the Greenway.

I made banana bread a few days ago. It is delicious and if I don't share quickly, I will eat the whole loaf. Not that I'm against that necessarily, but I am for sharing.

do you collect butterflys?

I was out for my friend's birthday the other night and saw some old friends, met some new ones. I kept wanting to ask them what they did, where they worked, how they knew my friend. In a sense, I wanted to figure out who they were by what they did.

This isn't just me and by no means uncommon. It happens all the time. At YDS, you meet someone and go through all the details that supposedly define you - degree program, denomination, ordination track, where you're from, etc.

This is a culture that defines people by what they do first, and then who they are second. We put people in boxes by the hard facts and then move from there. At YDS, once we learn the various degree details about someone, we know how to interact with them. Ah, a Lutheran M.Div. A Ethics MAR. Ordination track. Non-ordination track. While these details are helpful, it's not the end-all-be-all.

It reminds me of this quote from The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry:

“Grown-ups like numbers. When you tell them about a new friend, they never ask questions about what really matters. They never ask: "What does his voice sound like?" "What games does he like best?" "Does he collect butterflies?". They ask: "How old is he?" "How many brothers does he have?" "How much does he weigh?" "How much money does his father make?" Only then do they think they know him.”

I've been feeling a bit like a ship without its bearings, wandering lost at sea, no port to aim towards. I'm guessing it comes from this period of transition and having less of these "hard" facts about myself. It's a little unnerving, but somewhat freeing at the same time. I don't think I could sustain this freewheeling for a long period of time though. Hopefully I won't have to.

i lack a fresh breeze

I am, at heart, an entertainer. Not in the top hat and cane sense, but in that I like organizing events and seeing people have a good time. I loved doing it for YDS, even on my most frustrating days.

I'm guessing that's why not having a backyard or porch is killing me. Or a big dinner table. As much as going out for dinner is fun, I like the idea of cooking for friends much better. I wish I had time, ingredients, the imagination and skills do amazing things with food. And the space to accommodate that magic.

Yesterday, I headed to St. Paul for an old friend's birthday, and marveled at her awesome porch. Made me miss the CHouse porch.


This is the view from my back steps right now:


Not quite the same. Next place I live is going to have some mad backyard awesomeness. Here are some more apartment pictures, since I realized I never posted them:




Also threw my bike in there for good measure. I love it. It takes me places. It also has a "I <3 unicorns" sticker on it. I'm thinking it'll take me to Pride this afternoon, while it's not too ridiculously hot out.

crazy on you

embrace change

Everytime I start missing New Haven, YDS, and Marquand, I have to remind myself of the fortune cookie I received my first week back in Minneapolis:

Embrace change; don't battle it.

There's something about embracing change that honors what once was while still anticipating what will be.

A few days later, I got this one:

Is this where you saw yourself five years ago?

Honestly, I didn't see myself anywhere five years ago. I was too busy thinking about the present to think about the future. I still have to remind myself to imagine five years from now. That'll be easier once I have some sort of permanent work, but the options are wide open now while I'm still looking.

Anyway. Time to battle the heat, test my repaired tire and try for a bike ride.